This was not supposed to happen
by I'mBeingCompletelySirius138
Summary: "But this wasn't her. Lily Evans was the new Head Girl, top of her class with plans to become a Healer. A guy was not in her future plan. Especially one that distracted her and made her go crazy on a regular basis. Especially not James bloody Potter." First real story. Need reviews to make sure I'm giving you what you want. Thanks :)
1. Prologue

**AN: Ok this is my first on-going story. I have a basic idea of where I want to go, but I need you guys to review so you can give me ideas. Also, I don't mind criticism, just don't tell me "it's bad" but not give me any feedback. Thanks a bunch. I would give you cookies if I knew how to get them through the computer. Anyway, I don't own anything that is recognizable obviously. Ok, enjoy! :)**

* * *

"Shit."

No one was supposed to find out, but some how Marlene and Mary had figured it out. She wasn't supposed to have these feelings, she was above them. She didn't need someone to take care of her, contrary to her friends' beliefs. Mary flirts shamelessly with guys and Marlene is her comrade in arms. Mary's whole life plan was to marry a rich wizard and be a perfect wife (She had told McGonagall this during their career meetings. Needless to say there aren't many course that you need a NEWT in to be a trophy wife).

But this wasn't her. Lily Evans was the new Head Girl, top of her class with plans to become a Healer. A guy was not in her future plan. Especially one that distracted her and made her go crazy on a regular basis. Especially not James bloody Potter!

It wasn't as if Lily had never fancied a guy before. She had fancied a number of guys and had dated almost as many. She had broken off her latest relationship with Amos Diggory when he graduated, claiming that she wanted him to experience his first year away from Hogwarts as a free, single man, not one who had to commit to a student.

In truth, she was sick of his badgering about stepping up their relationship. They had been sleeping together! What other steps were to be taken in a Hogwarts relationship? And she didn't want to move into his flat immediately after graduation. She had her own plans and unfortunately Amos didn't fit into them.

And neither did James bloody Potter, for that matter. If he was still the arrogant toe-rag of his youth, it would be one thing, but James bloody Potter was Head Boy opposite Lily. Consequently, this meant they shared a Head's common room and had their own dorms off of it. This didn't help the whole fancying thing, especially when he walked through the common room with only sweatpants on after the initial Quidditch practice of the year.

Lily remembered that night vividly. James had walked into the common room, broom tucked under his arm, sweat clothes on, and his face buried in copious notes on the tryout. His face was scrunched as he tried to decipher his own script. His skin shined with a thin layer of sweat and was flushed after the exertion. Lily had been sitting by the fire in one of the plush arm chairs finishing her Charms homework. She had greeted him, but he was so engrossed in the notes that he missed her. He had trudged up the stairs to his dorm, dropping his Quidditch gear on every step.

Lily had shaken her head and returned to her Charms. She heard the shower start upstairs and knew he must have put the notes down at some point. She had completed the entire assignment when the water turned off. She was packing all of her supplies when James starting trudging down the stairs.

He was in a pair of thin grey sweatpants. His hair was almost flat due to the water. He ran his hand through his hair, causing it to shower the floor. His eyes had been closed during the entire trip and he seemed to have been nursing a head ache. Lily couldn't help but feel a little sorry for the guy. He walked slowly across the floor to his desk where he sat still. He put his face in his hands and leaned on the desk. He let out a long sigh and shook his head.

Lily had finished packing and walked up to him slowly. She asked, "Hey are you alright, James?" At that, James' head shot up and he let out a low exclamation.

Both Lily and James had began to blush. Lily could see his blush reach down to his chest. He quickly came back to his senses and apologized for his out burst. "I didn't realize you were sitting there..." his hand leapt back to his hair pulled through spraying some water on Lily's scarlet face.

"No, it was my fault. I shouldn't have snuck up on you like that," she said, slowly backing towards the chair she had vacated.

James gave her an odd look then peered over her shoulder to his stair case. He groaned at the mess he had left behind earlier. He stood and stretched, his muscles rippling across his back. His pants sat precariously low on his hips as he walked towards the stairs and bent down to grab his shin guards.

His arms were muscular and defined. He wasn't bulky by any means, but he certainly was fit. Quidditch had done him good. His chest was filled out and his abs could wash clothing.

Oh God! What was she thinking? This was James bloody Potter who had been the bane of her existence since they first conversed on the train first year. Lily couldn't think thoughts like this. She had quickly grabbed her things and went for her own stairs when she heard, "Goodnight, Lily." She turned quickly, heart racing, and bid him her own good night before wrenching the door open and scuffling in side.

That had been the first time Lily had ever really looked at James Potter. Of course she had known he was good looking and people had talked about his fitness, but she had never really observed him. He was strong, yet moved with grace and control. His eyes, which were hazel streaked with green and gold, flashed with excitement and life. When he concentrated, his brows came together in a bunch and his lips protruded out into a duck face. Not a full on teenage girl with the peace sign, but as if he had been about to say something when he suddenly forgot. Okay, obviously she had been thinking about this way too hard, but she couldn't help it. He was different. He genuinely smiled at first-years rather than hexing them, he had limited the number of pranks he and his friends did, and he had stopped badgering her with date invitations.

In fact, this was probably the most unsettling thing. James had not asked her out once this year. After one week of silence on the matter, Lily had taken to striking up a conversation with James just to get him to talk to her. They would have pleasant conversations over meals, during break times, or after weekly prefect meetings. They talked about school, friends, home life, Quidditch, books, music, food, and anything that came to mind. And it wasn't awkward either. Lily had found herself sitting at a table in the Gryffindor common room surrounded by Marauders and felt completely comfortable.

She had known Remus already because they had shared prefect responsibilities, but she hadn't had much to do with the other three. Sirius Black was the hunk with the great hair, piercing eyes, and heart-melting smolder. He was the heart-throb, lady-killer of Hogwarts. It wasn't that he treated girls bad, he just was up for a relationship. Peter Pettigrew was the complete opposite. He wasn't bad looking; he was blond, pale, and his face was pointed, but not grotesque. Contrary to Black's womanizer persona, Peter was gay-best friend without being gay. That boy was the mayor of the friend-zone, but he seemed fine with being the shoulder to cry on.

James Potter was the big mystery however. For years she had only seen him as conceited, arrogant, and self-righteous. He had been cocky, snarky, and an all around punk, not to mention a toe-rag. But after talking with him and working with him, her whole image had changed. He was a full on Momma's boy, but not entirely spoiled. When someone talked to him, he gave them his full attention and made them think what they were saying was the most important thing in the world. He was encouraging to the new prefects. And even though he had as much experience as them, he was supportive. James was also fiercely loyal. Even when he knew his friends had screwed up, he was there to help them fix it. And not just the Marauders. When Marlene had fallen asleep while writing her Transfiguration paper, James had skipped breakfast to help her finish before class. He was also incredibly responsible. He was top boy in their class, managed the Quidditch team, picked up Head Boy duties, and still managed to fit in a game of chess with his friends.

He was honestly the ideal guy without really trying. That only infuriated her more. He was Potter, not this nice guy that she would consider a "friend". If she didn't already have a head ache she would have hit her head against the table. Of course, she couldn't do that anyway. If she would have she would have to explain to James while she was hitting her head on the table while doing potions homework.

Yeah, definitely too hard to explain.

James groaned loudly. "Lily, can you help me with this? I know we learned about antidotes last year, but it's still a little hazy."

Lily looked up to find James tearing through the pages of their potions textbook. His one hand was flipping pages while the other stayed in his hair, twisting strands between his fingers. His quill was tucked behind his ear and there was ink spots on his defined jaw line. Oh goodness, Lily. Not now. He asked you to help. Right. Potions.

"Sure, James. What was your question?"

* * *

**AN: So? How'd I do? Please review so I can start implementing your ideas into the story. Thanks a bunch! Love you all! :)**


	2. Rough morning for Arithmancy

**AN: Okay I'm incredibly sorry for the wait. I just had the choir weekend of hell, but I apologize for my tardiness. I never want it to take this long, but things happen. Again sorry. I'll try to do better. Thank you to those of you who gave reviews. It really helps. I hope I gave you a little more of what you wanted here. So go ahead and read. BTW: All Hail Rowling! (because she owns everything that is even remotely recognizable)**

* * *

"Lily, come on! We're going to be late for breakfast if you don't hurry." Marlene and Mary had stopped by the Head's dorm on their way down to breakfast. Lily had asked them to accompany her under the pretense that she missed walking with them in the morning. Both parties knew it was only because the Lily didn't want to be caught alone with James too often. It might cause trouble.

"I know, I know, I'm coming." She was hopping towards the door trying to pull on her shoe. She nearly toppled over, just catching herself before she slammed into the door. She had just turned the doorknob when she looked at her bag. The seam had split and all of her books and parchment were strewn across the ground. She groaned to herself, "Honestly! Can I get a break this morning?"

"Lily we're leaving!" she heard Marlene shout up. Lily sped up. If she knew anything about her two friends it was their appetites. You did not want to be in between those two and breakfast.

"Fine, go on without me!" she shouted.

"We were kidding, you know," Mary said earnestly.

"No, I know. My bag split and my stuff is all over. I'll meet you down there." Hopefully. If the day continued on like this, she'd be lucky to make it through morning classes with out dying.

"Ok then. We'll see you, Lils!" She heard them grab their bags and walk out of the portrait. She sighed and started collecting her parchment. She rejoiced in the lack of ink spills. She could have easily cleaned it up, but it was tedious and best if avoided all together. She mended her bag quickly and repacked her supplies. She finally slung the strap over her shoulder and walked to the door and down the stairs to the Head's common room.

The morning had been a disaster. First, she had woken up late after a night of restless tossing. Next, her shampoo had run out and she had to use the overly fragrant bottle that Mary had begged her to try. Incidentally, it did not make her hair feel any different and the smell was obnoxious. Then, as she was drying her hair with her wand, she lost her focus and nearly set her hair on fire. Needless to say, the morning had not gone as planned and Lily was definitely not on her A-game when she reached the common room.

She reached the bottom of the stairs and saw James sitting on the couch, passed out. He was dressed in his robe and uniform and had his bag sitting next to him, but he was snoring softly and reclining across the seat.

Lily couldn't help but see how innocent he looked. His head rested on the back of the couch and his mouth was slightly ajar. His glasses had slipped past the bridge of his nose. The black mop of hair on his head was still damp from his morning shower. The sleeves of his robes and uniform were pulled up to his elbows and his arms draped across his stomach. His breathing was deep and even. As his chest rose and fell, the fabric pulled tight.

Lily debated whether or not she should wake him. He was, after all, very in need of sleep, but he also never missed a meal if he could help it. So she walked gingerly over to the sleeping boy. He looked so calm and at peace. Like he had no NEWTs to work for, no duties, no Quidditch, no nothing. Lily shook her head and shook his shoulder.

"James. James. James, wake up. You're going to miss breakfast if you don't get up now." She spoke just loud enough that he could hear. His face scrunched and his arms tightened around his torso.

"Nuuuuh, go bah to sleeee, Sirrrrs..." James groaned. He shifted his body and fell back asleep.

Really? Lily thought. I try and wake him up out of the goodness of my heart and I get called Sirius? Lily straightened up and put her hands on her hips.

"James! Wake up. You're going to make both of us even later for breakfast. Let's Go!"

He groaned in a similar fashion and shut his eyes tighter.

Alright, then, Lily thought. If he's going to act like a child, I'm going to treat him like one.

Lily pulled her wand out of her robes. Even though she did not approve of the spell for regular use, she thought of the word _Levicorpus_.

James shot in the air and flipped over. He was wide awake, looking around for the perpetrator. His eyes locked on Lily.

"Lily? What... Why am I upside down?" He wasn't yelling at her, but he was certainly speaking angrily.

Lily just grinned and said, "I tried waking you up, but you just wouldn't budge. So I made you budge." James looked at her with disbelief.

"Can you let me down now?"

Lily thought of the counter-curse as James fell to the couch. He bounced off the seat with an oomph! and landed in a heap on the floor. Trying to retain some dignity, James regained his feet and adjusted his clothes. His hand shot through his hair, which had almost completely dried and pulled his sleeves up. When he was satisfied with his appearance he looked up at Lily and smirked.

"Well don't you just look spiffy today," Lily quipped. It was pretty hard not to smile at the boy who had just been hanging upside down and pretended to still have his dignity.

"Thanks," James replied. "You're looking very fit yourself."

Lily started to blush quickly. Flustered, she responded, "I said you looked spiffy, not fit. There is a difference." Of course he also looks fit this morning, but that is not the point, Lily thought quickly.

James just grinned. "There may be a difference for most people. But for me, it means the same thing." As the door opened, he posed against the door frame in his best Fabio pose and said, "I always look fit."

Lily couldn't help, but agree. However, she had to keep face, so she snorted slightly and laughed, walking through the door and turning down the hall way. James sighed and jogged to catch up. He fell into step next to her. They walked in comfortable silence for some time before Lily let out a long yawn.

"Rough morning?" James asked, holding back a yawn of his own.

"You could say that," Lily responded drily. "I was woken up at around 3 in the morning by someone in the common room." James' stride faltered for a half second before regaining his composure. "Speaking of which," Lily continued, "what held you out so late last night?"

"Ummm, I was just out with the rest of the Marauders," James answered quickly.

"I thought Remus was visiting his mother," Lily said.

James responded quickly, "He is. It was just Sirius, me, and Pete. Just the three of us. Not Remus."

Lily looked skeptically at him. "Okay then. Should I be worried about anything this morning? No pranks that I'll need to watch out for?"

James laughed, "No there aren't. We didn't get to that last night." He then looked straight at Lily and smiled. "Even if we had, what makes you think I would tell you?"

Lily was feeling a little snarky this morning and since it was his fault she didn't feel so bad about it. "You'd tell me because you can't resist my allure, James Potter," she said incredibly sarcastically.

James laughed and sighed, "Oh unfortunately that is all too true. I've never been able to resist, Lily. You of all people should know that."

Lily laughed, but inside her heart was beating loudly. What did he mean by that? Was he talking about how he had asked her out all the times before or was he talking about his feelings now? And if he was talking about his feelings now, why hadn't he done anything about it recently? Lily was so caught up in her thoughts that she missed James' question.

"What?" Lily asked sheepishly.

"I ask if you had looked at the Transfiguration-Charms project criteria yet. It's quite a complex project, even for a NEWT course." He spoke calmly as if his last statement hadn't been a cacophony of mixed messages that would plague her throughout the day.

Lily responded calmly, "Not really. I figure McGonagall will go over it today in our double class."

James nodded. "Half of the project is done with a partner. Apparently this is the majority of our grade in both classes."

Lily nodded. This joint project was similar to a Thesis paper for a historian or a portfolio for an artist. This project was known to predict a students success in the NEWTs. "It's going to define our future."

"I just hope it isn't assigned partners. I don't want to end up with some air head like Violet Brown. That would be torturous."

Lily couldn't help, but agree. Violet was a Gryffindore, pretty, and a nice girl most of the time, but she was kind of a dink. She was relatively book smart, but she had about as much common sense as a rock. She preferred classes like Divination where there really wasn't a wrong answer and since the teacher was as old as dirt, you could get away with just about anything. "I couldn't agree more. Do you really think they'll assign on a project this big?"

James thought a little bit about it, "Probably not, but you never know."

They made it to the Great Hall just as he finished his last statement. Lily and James walked over to the Gryffindor table. It was pretty full, but most people were done or finishing up eating. They searched for their friends and found them at the end of the table.

Lily moved to join them, but before she took a step James took hold of her arm. Lily looked back at him.

James looked a little hesitant, but continued, "If we get to choose our partners for this project, will you be my partner?"

Lily was dumbfounded. Of course, their conversation in the halls had gotten her thinking about possible partner options. "What about the Marauders?"

James shrugged and responded, "Sirius and Remus will pair up and Pete is only in Charms so he doesn't do the same project."

That did leave James on his own. Lily thought of her own options. Her immediate thoughts were Mary and Marlene, but they would surely partner up together. She could pair up with the Ravenclaw, Anna Price, but she would definitely pair up with her boyfriend, Ryan Davies. The Hufflepuffs were definitely going to pair up with each other and Lily couldn't even fathom working with Snape or another Slytherin. That left James. And really, he was a great option. He was incredibly smart and a genius when it came to Transfiguration. Since they both had Head's duties, their schedules lined up nicely so they could get done in a timely fashion.

"Sure, James. That'd be great," she responded with a smile.

James looked a little taken aback by her enthusiasm. "Well ok then. I guess we'll find out in Transfiguration today."

Lily nodded. They walked over to Gryffindor table and sat down. Lily was next to Marlene who was next to Mary. Across from her, James sat down by Sirius and Pete.

Sirius looked a little miffed. "Well where have you been all morning? Snogging in a broom closet?" Their group all stifled laughs: Lily's of discomfort, James of desbelief, Pete and Sirius' of amusement, and Mary and Marlene's of knowledge that Lily's stomach was doing a gymnastic's routine inside her.

It was oh too true unfortunately. To cover her discomfort, Lily countered, "I was actually getting sleepy boy up so he wouldn't miss breakfast. Incidentally, you shouldn't stay out so late at night, Black. It's not safe and you might get caught."

Lily wasn't entirely sure, but she was pretty sure both Sirius and Pete's faces paled. For certain their faces dropped and James howled with laughter. Sirius took a piece of sausage and flipped it towards James. He snagged the link just before it hit his glasses and took a large bite, smirking at Black's vexed expression.

Lily, Mary, and Marlene laughed at their display. Mary and Marlene were both finished with their meal and sat patiently for Lily to finish. "What's our first class today?" Mary asked.

Lily thought about it. It was a Tuesday so that meant Marlene, Sirius, Remus, James, and her had Arithmancy. Mary and Pete had a break for the first hour. "We have Arithmancy, Mary. I think you're free this hour."

Mary smiled with relief. "Thank goodness. I really need to get that Potions assignment finished." She looked at the clock on the wall. "Well I should probably be going. I'll be in the Common Room if anyone needs me." And with that she popped up and walked gracefully toward the large doors.

Mary was quite the girl, Lily thought. She was about mid height with long blonde hair. Her alluring smile was bright and playful. Even though she was naturally beautiful, she was a master at cosmetology. If anyone in the dorm wanted to look a certain way for a date or something, Mary was the one to go to. Her affinity for all things hair and makeup helped save the trio in a number of tight spots, including the time Marlene bruised her cheek the day before her date with Nick McLaggen. That honestly would have been a disaster if Mary hadn't been there.

It was true, Mary McDonald was amazing. Not only that, but she was an amazing friend. She and Marlene had met each other on the train and had become instant friends. They had befriended Lily immediately after the sorting and they had been inseparable since. Lily loved and valued her friendship with both of them, but especially Mary. Mary was a muggleborn as well and was one of the few who actually knew what it felt like to have no magical background. It wasn't something that you understand without the experience. It was valuable to both of them.

Lily looked up at the clock. They had approximately seven minutes until they had to be on third floor in Arithmancy. She finished off her eggs and drained her pumpkin juice. Wiping her mouth, she nudged Marlene. She motioned to the clock and Marlene understood. "Well, we best be going," she said. "We don't want to make Professor Dalarium and crazy than he already is."

"Are you kidding?" Black gasped. "That's the only thing that gets me through that class!"

The rest of the group laughed at this. Black was notorious for asking the most round-about questions just to see if the Professor would continue to explain. Sirius had actually caused him to explain just what about Arithmancy was usefully in being a Curse-Breaker at Gringotts for an entire class time.

Arithmancy was actually a very interesting class. Lily loved it with all the charts and numbers. It made sense. There was always one right answer that you could get to. Lupin and James agreed with her. Marlene and Sirius tended to get a little irritated with the structure. They were free spirits, if you will.

The group climbed the stairs and made it to the class room with a minute to spare. Lily and Marlene sat down at a desk near the middle back of the room. James and Sirius took the desk behind them. Lily chatted with all of them until the office door swung open. Out walked an elegant young woman, she couldn't have been more than 26 years old. She had dark maroon robes on that were trimmed in gold. Her face was beautiful, but it had a same sternness that was found in McGonagall's own.

She smoothly walked across the room to the front desk. She grabbed her wand from her pocket and flicked it at the chalkboard.

"My name is Professor Septima Vector. I'm a half-blood. I was a Ravenclaw and was granted a NEWT in eight subjects including this one. My favorite Quidditch team is the Falmouth Falcons and my past times include reading, hiking, weaving, and Three Card Brag. I'm deathly afraid of rabbits, which is part of the reason why I support the Falcons. I enjoy The Weird Sisters, debate, logic, and a good treacle tart. Any questions?"

Lily was in shock, as was most of the class. Here was this stranger who had told a class of seventh years her life story without a seconds thought. Lily couldn't help it, but she was in awe of this woman and she couldn't help but think how awesome she was.

"Yes, Miss Clarke?" Vector asked.

"Ummm, I was just wondering where Professor Dalarium is."

"Ah, very good question. Professor Dalarium is currently checked into St. Mungo's. He was found this past Sunday in a state of mental shock. They aren't sure what caused this, but he will most likely not be teaching here for the remainder of the semester, maybe even the year."

Again, Lily was shocked. Not only because of the sudden illness of her original Professor, but because of Professor Vector's blunt explanation. Most teachers would avoid the question and would refuse to tell the students anything. Again, Lily found herself in awe of this strong, independent woman.

"Yes, Mr. Black?"

"Well first, how do you know all of our names already? Two, how did you start rooting for the Falcons? And three, do you prefer to bet blind or open?"

The class laughed together. Black sat upright and expectant. Professor Vector smirked.

"To answer your first question, I asked Professor Dumbledore for a face list so that I would feel prepared on my first day. For your second question, my dear cousin's husband is a Falcon, so I support him. And as I stated before, my fear of rabbits may have influenced my decision. And finally, for your last one, I only bet blind. There's no other way to play."

The class chuckled simultaneously. Black was a little taken aback, but he nodded in understanding. Vector smiled.

"Anyone else?" she asked, with humor in her voice. The class looked around, but everyone seemed content. "Anyone? Alright then, Arithmancy..."

* * *

**AN: Soooo? :) Did you like it? Professor Vector is an actual character from the books that doesn't get much face time. She's gonna be getting some here obviously. Sorry there isn't more Jily yet. There's so much to introduce before I actually get there. I'm sorry if it's a little dry. Anyway, review so I can use your amazing brains and ideas for help! :) Cookies may or may not be involved.**


	3. Steaming up in Potions

**AN: I'm SOOOOOOO sorry! I haven't updated in forever. It's a terrible thing. I'm a terrible person. I'm sorry. I hope you like it. Much more Jily so yeah... GO!**

* * *

Chapter 2

Lily walked out of Arithmancy with the biggest smile possible.

Professor Vector was fantastic. Not only did they get through the lesson in record time, but everyone in the class understood the material. She had also told them a story about her times as a curse breaker in Egypt. Apparently ancient wizards had some twisted curses in their booby-traps.

Lily was not the only one who was excited. Marlene was chatting excitedly with Black. "I can't wait until Remus is back," Black said. "She's exactly the kind of teacher he likes. And she's not bad to look at either," he quipped, elbowing James who was grinning next to him.

"Come on, Black!" Marlene whined. "Is that all you think about?" Sirius and James exchanged amused looks.

"Oh, Bell. If only you knew what went on in a man's mind," Black quipped, winking.

Marlene made a faux scandalized face and started to giggle. She pushed into Black and shifted back to Lily to link arms. They had Potions next so they would all take the trek down to the dungeons together.

Lily laughed along with Marlene. Lily thought about how they had met in a similar situation. Marlene was a half blood, but her mother was a pure blood and incorporated her family (husband, Marlene, and younger brother) in the social circle. She had grown up with James, along with Alice Prewett, Frank Longbottom, (who had both graduated last year) and Adam McKinnon (who was a fellow seventh year). She didn't need to make friends the first day, because she already knew a number of Gryffindors already.

After the feast, they had walked into the Gryffindor common room in awe. James and Sirius were the first to snap out of it and started joking with Marlene. She made jokes back, much to the amusement of the rest of the first years.

"What are you going to do without us, Bell?" Black asked with exaggerated concern. James laughed and Marlene gave him a smirk.

"I'm just going to make friends with this girl here." At that point, Marlene had side-stepped toward Lily and linked her arm. Marlene turned to her and smiled. "Hi, Marlene Bell. You're Lily Evans, right?" I nodded. "Great. I just remember because of your hair. It's super pretty. I wish I had red hair. Anyway, we're dorm mates so I figure we should get to know each other sooner than later." This continued all the way up the stairs without a word from me to our first year dorm.

That first night had been one of the best of Lily's life. She hadn't had a girl to girl conversation since she'd met Severus and Petunia had shunned her. Mary and Marlene had become instant friends and they always included Lily in everything. They ate meals together, worked on papers together, got ready for dates together, and went home with each other's families during the breaks.

Marlene loved to come to Mary and Lily's houses. Her mom had always used magic around the house and had lived in a wizarding neighborhood. Marlene was always doing things the muggle way, just to prove she could. Mary and Lily joked that she was definitely going to marry a muggle just out of curiosity.

Marlene was certainly different than most witches her age. She was the left chaser on the Gryffindor Quidditch team, but she wasn't butch or anything. She actually had long dark caramel hair that reached the middle of her back. It was the envy of most the girls at Hogwarts. She had a faint spattering of freckles across her nose and had incredibly smooth skin. Marlene was one of those lucky girls who had never had a zit in their life. She had light blue eyes that would almost loose color in the right light. When she smiled, it reached every feature of her face.

And that was it, Lily thought. Marlene was completely genuine. She would smile and say, "Hi. It's so good to see you," and actually mean it. She'd ask you about your day and sincerely care about your answer. She knew the majority of the school on a first name basis, even the Slytherins who tended to band together and isolate themselves.

Marlene was also sought after by many blokes. She was a regular flirt, but she honestly thought she was just being friendly. She was thin, but athletic and would look good in a paper bag. But Marlene never flaunted herself around. Mary and Lily had scolded her for calling herself plain. Marlene had a natural, careless beauty that one could never hope to achieve with cosmetics.

She was a beautiful person inside and out, Lily thought as she descended into the dungeons with her companions. They entered the classroom with seconds to spare. Mary was occupying a table with Faith Newton, a fifth year Gryffinfor who was particularly good at potions. She had taken her OWL as a third year and passed with an outstanding, much to the chagrin of the Ravenclaws. She had been in their NEWT class since. She always sat with Mary, Marlene, and Lily. Faith was pleasant company and was a good partner for any group projects.

Lily and Marlene sat down across from each other. James and Sirius sat down with Adam McKinnon. They usually had Remus to fill the table. Adam looked up as the group sat down. He smiled and waved at Marlene. She smiled brightly. "Hi, Adam. How was Ancient Runes?"

Adam shrugged, "It was alright. Professor Babbling was a little out of it today. Something about clogged sinuses and pressure."

Marlene looked concerned. "Oh no, she such a nice lady. I do hope she feels better."

"Same," Adam said, equally as concerned. "Class just doesn't have quite the same fervor without her on her game."

"I can imagine," Marlene said. At that point, Professor Slughorn entered the room and called for silence.

"Alright, ladies and gentlemen," Slughorn said. 'We have some notes to take for the first part of class. Then we'll do a short exercise with some sample ingredients."

The class reacted poorly and pulled out their parchment and quills. Lily sighed. She had already read the section they were learning today. They had already discussed Golpalott's first two laws and now were finishing up with the third. Lily was ready to be done with antidotes. There was too much leeway with antidotes. You could have the correct ingredient, but not end up with a suitable antidote. It was tedious work and they had already been working on it for a month.

Lily figured she would scribble random notes down to keep track of the time. She pulled out her parchment and quill and dipped the tip into the ink. She looked down and saw a message on the top of her page.

_You've read this section already, haven't you?_

Lily could recognize this handwriting anywhere. It was James. Back in third year, he had taken to sending her love messages on her paper all the time. He had done this for weeks until Lily switch all of her parchment for new. At that point, James had taken the hint and found a new form of torture. Lily glanced at James. He had a grin on his face as he half looked at her, half looked at Slughorn. Lily looked down at her paper to write.

**_Yes I have, but it's really very simple. He just combined his first two laws to make this one._**

_Oh well, if it's just that simple... :)_

Lily grinned. Potions was the only class that James Potter ever seemed to struggle at. Lily chalked it up to his inability to follow rules or instructions.

**_It really isn't too bad. I can help you with it later if you need it. After rounds?_**

_Would you, Lily? That would be fantastic._

**_No problem. So do you have any idea what the Transfiguration/Charms project will be?_**

_No, they change it every year. It's this whole big secret, but someone was saying something about Patronuses. I just don't know how that connects to Transfiguration._

Lily thought about it. The Patronus Charm was a bit of advanced magic that had many uses, however she was stumped on the connection.

**_I don't know either. I hope it's something like that, though. I love the Patronus charm._**

_You love a charm? How do you love a charm?_

**_You can love a charm! The Patronus is a favorite. It's just so intimate. It tells you so much about a person without even trying._**

_I guess I understand that. I'm surprised and a little worried we haven't touched on them earlier! It's an important defense spell to know!_

**_Count on James Potter to get upset about it._**

_I am upset! What are they teaching us in these DADA classes?_

Lily laughed at James' ridiculousness. James looked over, grinning and locked eyes. Lily felt a stir in her stomach. James' gaze was strong, but kind. Lily never wanted to look away. She blinked quickly so that he would never leave her focus. James' grin faded slowly and was replaced by a look unfamiliar to Lily. His eyes had dilated and his expression was longing.

Lily's heart beat quickened. It pounded in her ears. All she wanted was to be right next to James, being held tightly in his arms and hearing him say her name. She wanted to be his. She wanted to James' Lily-flower. She wanted him to be hers. She wanted to be with James Potter, the boy who she swore she would hate for all eternity.

The sound of chairs being pushed back, brought both of them back to reality. Lily felt the blush spread over her neck and cheeks. She snuck a quick glance at James. He had a confused look on his face, but other than that, he looked as if nothing happened. Maybe nothing had happened. Maybe Lily was the only person in the world to react to simple eye-contact. Lily shook her head to drive out all thoughts of James Potter from her head.

She collected her ingredients from the cabinet and sat back down. Mary next to her had already started pouring her poison into the cauldron. Lily uncorked her vial and poured it into her cauldron. Lily was determined to keep her little fiasco away from her two friends. Lily was not in the right state of mind to explain what happened. In fact, she didn't even know what happened! No, focusing on her antidote was the only way to not tip them off.

Midway through class, Mary was stirring her potion and turned toward Lily. She just was looking at her for sometime until she finally sighed, "Lily, what's on your mind?"

Lily was startled. She had done nothing but work on her potion! There wasn't anyway that Mary could have figured it out. Lily shook her head. "Nothing, just the potion. Why?"

"That's just it," Mary smiled. "You never have to work that hard at Potions, especially antidotes."

Lily couldn't believe it. "I guess nothing gets past you, does it?" Lily sighed, defeated.

"No, it doesn't," Mary quipped. "Though I am a little peeved that you tried to get something by me. What's going on?"

Lily tried avoiding the question. She had no idea what was going on. She was acting impulsively and irrationally. Her thoughts were completely overtaken by James Effin' Potter. She was both anticipating and dreading time shared with him. "I don't know, Mary. He just makes me go a little crazy inside"

At the mention of "he" Mary's face lit up. She had always been the biggest advocator for the James-Lily relationship, even when Lily hated him. "Really?" Mary grinned. "What's he been up to this time?"

"Nothing! That's what I'm saying! He has been completely normal around me! I mean, what is up with that?"

Mary giggled and continued to stir. "Oh, Lily. What am I ever going to do with you?"

"What do you mean," Lily asked, puzzled.

Mary stopped stirring and added her powdered unicorn horn. She turned to Lily and said, "What am I going to do with your apparent blindness to James' infatuation?"

Lily scoffed. "Really?! His infatuation? If he was so infatuated, why hasn't he asked me out this year? I mean it's been a month!"

Mary shook her head. "Lily, you're running away with this like a drunken cat. Just calm down." Once Lily had calmed herself enough, Mary continued. "James is just trying a new angle. You didn't respond to his forward approaches..."

"I didn't like him then!" Lily interjected.

"I know that, but he doesn't. So he's changing his tactics. Just try to look at the big picture."

Lily sat and thought about this picture. James and her had been getting along nicely lately. They only would get into small arguments about meaningless topics and they were constantly discussing happier things. They studied together. They did their rounds together. They hung out in the Gryffindor and Head's Common Room together. They did almost everything together. "James is around me constantly," Lily commented.

"Exactly," Mary finished. "He's trying to get you to know him the same way he's trying to get to know you."

Lily thought about this. It was certainly different from anything else he'd done. There were no enchanted roses or charmed cupids flying around. Just James. And unfortunately, Lily liked that a lot. Like a lot a lot!

"It still is weird though," Lily said. "We talk all the time. I know more things about him from this year than I ever knew before. What constitutes as knowing someone?"

Mary laughed. "Each person has different criteria. He'll ask you when he's ready."

If he ever is, Lily thought. Behind her, Slughorn walked up to check her antidote.

"Ahhh. Perfect as ever, Miss Evans," he said, beaming. "I don't know why I even bother coming over to check."

As he started to walk away, the bell sounded and all the students collected their things. Slughorn shouted above the noise, "You have a 12 inch short essay over Golpalott's Three Laws. It's dues next week, but I would get it started soon. There will be more homework this week."

And with that, the class exited the dungeon to make their way up to the Great Hall.

Lily was walking with Mary and Marlene when she heard her name. She turned and saw James jogging up to her. He had a playful smile across his face. His hair bobbed with every stride as he came closer. Sirius stayed back with Adam and shook his head, amused.

James fell into step with the three girls. "Lily, you have a break next, right?"

Lily nodded. Mary and Marlene were taking Muggle Studies, a class that Lily had never understood for those two. Both of them had muggle backgrounds, but they still wanted to take it.

"And then we have lunch together?" he asked.

Lily's stomach flipped at the word together. It was completely ridiculous! He didn't have another meaning in that question. It was just a question. "Yeah, that's right," she replied.

"Great," he said, breaking into a grin. "Would you mind doing the Potions homework with me now? I'd like to have someone to think it out with. Heads Common Room?"

Lily's body was filled with excitement and dread at the opportunity to spend over an hour with just James. They stopped at the bottom of the stairs. "Sure. Yeah. That's sounds great," she said, smiling back.

James' face brightened. "Great! I just have to deliver a letter. I'll be there in 5 minutes. See you then, Lils." And with that, James turned the corner and climbed a separate flight of stairs.

Lily followed him with her eyes until he turned the corner to get to the Owlery.

"Let's go, Lover-Girl," Marlene said, pulling Lily out of her gaze. "You're still dropping us off at the Muggle Studies classroom." She caught Lily's hand and pulled her along. Lily came willingly, laughing along with them.

Mary and Marlene were talking about the Muggle Studies essay that was due at the end of the week. Lily checked out right away. Her thoughts were already back on James. Mary's opinion had been ringing through her head since they left the dungeons. Maybe James is trying to get to know me better, she thought. He's talking to me so that he knows the real me. But Lily couldn't shake off the first week of school when he avoided her. He hadn't even tried the pleasantries! If he was so infatuated with her, why didn't he talk to her, make jokes, or even acknowledge her presence? It was infuriating and confusing.

They were coming up on the class room quickly. Lily cleared her face of irritation and smiled at her two friends. They waved and said goodbye before entering the class. Lily turned and started her walk to the Heads Common Room. She walked leisurely, not wanting to arrive to early to their meeting.

She climbed the stairs to the fourth floor and turned to the painting of the witch and wizard fighting the Swedish short-snout. Lily stood in front of the painting and said, "Caput Draconis." The dragon stared out of the painting at Lily. It then blew its fire toward her and Lily watched the painting melt away into an arch way.

As she started forward, she heard running footsteps from up the hall. James rounded the corner, clearly winded. Lily turned and looked at him with concern.

James caught his breath and said, "I heard you saying the password and I didn't want to miss the dragon. It's the best part of this Common Room."

Lily just started laughing. Of course that's what it was. James Potter, Head Boy and Captain of the Gryffindor quidditch team, would sprint down a hallway just to see magic do its work. James looked at Lily with an amused grin. He then walked forward toward the door.

"Alright then," he said, placing his hand on her back. "Let's get this bloody thing started so we don't have to do it later."

Lily gave an involuntary shudder. The skin on her back burned from where his hand was. Lily wanted that feeling all over. She wanted James to hold on to her and never let go. She walked closer to him, their feet walking in tandem.

When they reached the table in the middle of the room, he dropped his hand and placed his bag by one of the chairs. He raised his hands above his head and stretched, making the bottom of his shirt come untucked from his pants.

Lily was going to lose it. "I have to go to the bathroom," she said quickly. "I'll be back in a sec."

James nodded in assent and Lily turned to climb her stairs. She closed the door behind her and went for the bathroom. She closed the door behind her and looked at the mirror.

"What the bloody hell is wrong with you today?" she asked herself, turning on the sink. "All I want to do is have some nice homework time with James and get the essay done." But at the mention of his name, her heart leapt. Lily couldn't help it. Every time she thought of James, she went back to Potions class, looking into his eyes and feeling her insides reeling for him. Lily was helpless and she hated it. She hated loosing control of herself because of some boy. And not just any boy. James Potter!

Lily gripped the sink, willing herself to calm down. She finally ran both her hands through her hair and pulled it into a loose ponytail. She was determined to make it through this hour without any hiccups. She was going to be focused. No more falling prey to Potter's charms.

Lily exited the bathroom, walked across her room, and descended the stairs. James was lounging on the couch, head propped up by a pillow. His Potions book was placed on his stomach and he was reading intently. Lily watched his eyes scan the lines one by one. Randomly his brows would scrunch and he'd squint his eyes, but his face would return to his pleasant smile.

As she reached the table, he looked up. When he saw her, his face lit up and he greeted her. There was a glint in his eyes and his grin filled his face. His hand jumped to his hair and he ruffled it quick.

Lily felt her face turn red and she couldn't help but give him a smile in return. She sat in the arm chair that was across from the couch and pulled out her Potions book. She flipped open to the chapter and brought the book up to her face. This is going to be harder than I thought, she thought, hiding her face from James.

* * *

**AN: So? Was it worth the wait? Probably not, but I do have excuses. First I was singing with the symphony and then I was out of town and then I was behind in school and had to have my mother breathing down my neck and then I had finals and then I had 3 books that were fantastic that I needed to read and then I had show choir out of town again. BUT, I did get this done in that time period. I hope you like it. Reviews tell me what you thinks. Thanks :)**


	4. Ravenclaws like Divinations?

**AN: Again, I'm sorry for the long wait. This chapter is a different angle and I had some trouble trying to get it to sound a little more natural. Let me know what you think! Hopefully I didn't epically fail on this one. Anyway, Enjoy! :)**

* * *

Chapter 3

Lily woke with a start. She had been having a familiar dream. In the dream, James and her were walking down a Hogwart's hall way, much like they do on Head's duties, but she was holding his hand. It had felt warm and comforting. His grip was strong but had a gentleness that made Lily feel completely safe.

This time though, the dream continued on. Lily's body began to yearn for James. She wanted so badly to wrap her legs around him, weave her fingers through his tangled hair, and snog him senseless. She had just bucked up the courage to make a move on him. If he wasn't going to initiate, she was.

She pulled on his hand and turned to face him. He stopped walking and turned toward Lily with a questioning look. Lily took a deep breath, squeezed his hand, and leaned forward to kiss him. She was leaning up and in. Her hands snaked behind his neck and began to pull him down. Her breathing hitched as she anticipated the contact.

Suddenly, her arms were ripped away and she fell back from James. She looked up, shocked and hurt. Potter's face was furious and he shook with rage.

"What the fuckin' hell do you think you're doing, Evans?!" he shouted, his face contorted with rage. "Do you think you can just come in here after six years and try that on me? Did you really think I wouldn't find someone else? Seriously, Evans! You're not even worth my time!"

And with that he turned and stalked down the hall, never looking back at the girl in a heap on the floor.

Hot rejection poured over Lily as she watched him walk down the never ending hall. _Please don't leave me, James. James, I love you! _Her face burned and tears pooled in her eyes. She was stupid! Why did she ever think that was a good idea? Dream Lily rolled over onto her side and curled into a ball. The sobbing commenced and her whole body shook. Eventually, the racking sobs forced her into consciousness.

Lily remained in her bed with her arms wrapped around her chest. Her blood was pounding in her ears and her heart was aching. Tears leaked from the corners of her eyes.

What started out as an innocent dream had turned to a nightmare. Lily couldn't remember feeling this way ever. Her arms tightened around her chest, trying to stop it from bursting open in pain. Lily knew that she had fancied James Potter. That wasn't new. But this feeling was so much deeper. His rejection had torn from the core of her, threatening to expose herself completely. Lily didn't understand it.

Lily shuts her eyes as tight as she could. No matter how dark she made it, she couldn't help but see the image of James walking away from her. The image made her cringe and her pounded with discomfort.

This was obviously not just because I fancy him, she thought. Did she think he belonged to her? No! James was a very independent and strong person. She loved that about him and she knew she could never own him.

So why did that not comfort her? Lily knew why. She had lost him. James Potter, who had professed his love for the past four years, had grown tired of her. Lily had missed her chance because she had been stubborn and obstinate. Recognizing this only made Lily squeeze tighter.

He was moving on, she thought. He was moving on and leaving Lily behind. He was going to live his successful life, with a long fulfilling career, a model family, and a wife who adored him and waited on his every need. He would have his own life and it wouldn't be in her's anymore. A few years ago, she would have held a party and declared it a national holiday. Now, however, she can't see a future without him.

She sighed, "Get your head on straight, Lily! You're not even dating."

But she couldn't. The time for breakfast came and passed. Even though Lily never approved of skipping class, she couldn't make up enough reasons to go. So she continued to lie there, gripping her blankets under her chin.

She stayed in a ball for another three hours, only rousing to relieve herself in the bathroom. According to the time, James would have just left Arithmancy and be heading to lunch with Sirius and Remus. She didn't want to run into them, but she couldn't spend anymore time in this room. She could only think of the dream as she sat in there.

Lily walked over to the bathroom. She examined herself in the mirror. Her hair would be fine if she pulled it up in a messy bun. She washed her face quick, pulled up her hair, and went back in the room to change.

Where should I go? she asked herself, pulling a sweater over her head. She thought about the Arithmancy work that was surely assigned going into the weekend. She could stop my Professor Vector's room and get the assignment. She slipped her shoes on and headed for the door.

At the stairs, she listened for James. She didn't want to run into anyone, but definitely not James. Lily couldn't be certain if her self-control would hold, which irritated her to no end. Weeping in front of James would not help her situation in the least. She walked to the portrait and into the hall.

The coast was clear, so Lily made her way to the Arithmancy room. The trip was uneventful, only running into a Hufflepuff second year who probably didn't know who she was. Outside the room, Lily stopped and knocked.

"Come in." Professor Vector's was clear and sharp. The hinges squeaked as the door moved and Lily stepped cautiously into the room.

Vector was sitting at her desk looking through third year assignments. When Lily reached the front row, she lifted her eyes. Her eyebrows lifted and the professor had a somewhat surprised look on her face.

"Well, Miss Evans. We missed you in class today." Her eyes returned to the papers in her hands.

"I know, I was..." What was Lily doing? She hadn't really thought of how it would look if she walked into the classroom, having already skipped. "I was unable to attend class today," she said plainly.

Professor Vector looked up into Lily's eyes for a moment. Lily broke eye-contact before Vector. Guilt was teeming inside her and she knew Professor Vector could tell.

"Ok then," she said, straightening the papers in her hand and setting them down. "What can I help you with."

Lily swallowed. "Well I missed the lesson, as you know, and I was wondering if you could give me the assignment and small explanation of the material." Lily gave a weak smile, hoping that Vector might have some mercy.

There was a pause. "Alright. Get your text book out. Page 81. We'll look at the practice problems first."

And with that, Professor Vector flowed into an individual lesson. Her teaching methods were flawless. Within fifteen minutes, they had gone through the whole lesson and worked on the homework.

The problems were long, but repetitive, keeping Lily's mind mostly occupied. The repetition and length were soothing. Her quill scratched against the parchment. When Lily finished the last problem, she looked up at the Professor.

Vector turned from the assignments she was grading and set them down. She slid her chair towards Lily's paper. She lifted the paper to her face. Scanning down the lines, she tapped her finger on the parchment making it crinkle. At the bottom of the page, Vector looked up with a quizzical brow.

"Well it wasn't mental illness that kept you from class this morning, I don't think," she said setting the paper in front of Lily. "So what exactly did keep you from my class?"

Lily stared at her homework for a few seconds. Why did she stay in her bed all morning? Why did she wallow in self-pity because a boy in her dream had rejected her? But it wasn't just any boy. It was James. James, whose very existence had been a source of pain for as long as Lily could remember.

Vector waited silently, looking toward Lily. Lily's head rose. Unintentional tears had dampened her eyes. "It's quite trivial, nothing all that important." Lily had to take a deep breath to keep her emotions at bay. "It was immature and I shouldn't have missed class for it. I'm sorry."

"I'm not asking for an apology. I'm asking for an explanation. I don't want an apology. You're in your seventh year. You should be able to make your own decisions."

Lily was startled. Most teachers would just slap you on the wrist and shove you out the door. Vector just sat there, eyes fixed on Lily, waiting for an explanation. Lily didn't know how she wanted to proceed, so she picked a harmless route.

"Do you know anything about dreams?" Lily asked. It was pretty obscure, but it did have something to do with her staying in bed all morning.

"Well I was never one too keen on Divinations, but I know a thing or two," Vector replied.

Lily took a deep breath. "Say you've been having a reoccurring dream. It's been the same for at least a month. Well then, let's say, it changed and continued on last night. What does that mean?"

"It depends on the mood of the dream I would guess. What happened?"

Lily paused. She really wasn't sure she wanted to tell her professor about her infatuation with James. That would just be... Just no.

"Ummm... Things went sour," Lily said cautiously, eyeing Vector's reaction.

Vector nodded, amused. "We're dealing with this in hypotheticals, I'm guessing?"

Lily nodded, "If possible."

"Ok then. Tell me everything about the dream that you wish to share and we'll go from there, ok?"

Lily thought for a bit and then began. "Well it always starts off with me and J- this other person walking down the hall. We're near each other, kinda like doing prefect's duties. Ummm... Well things happen... I make a decision... I act on that decision... and he reacts badly. Then I'm an emotional wreck in the hallway... The End."

Vector nodded her head. "Well that was... vague, but I think we can go somewhere with this."

Lily felt awkward. Her description may have been vague, but it was pretty obvious, to her at least, where it had gone. Her professor might not know names, but she certainly knew gender. She tried to back out with, "It's probably nothing, really. I'm sure it was just a fluke because of all the stress."

Vector's eyes narrowed and her eyebrow rose. Her look went right through Lily and caught her in the attempt. Lily sighed. She had resigned herself to this as soon as she mentioned the dream. "I thought you loved logic and debate. Dreams are wishy-washy. Aren't Ravenclaws supposed to base everything off fact?"

Vector smiled, "We can't have a hobby?"

Lily gave a short laugh in agreement. This was an angle of Septima Vector that she and her classmates had not seen. This was Professor Vector combining her love of knowledge and curiosity with her kindness and willingness to help her students. For some reason, Lily felt more at ease sitting in the desk beside her teacher. There was a trust between them.

Vector waited patiently for Lily to continue. Lily raised her head and started from the beginning.

She began to tell Vector about the annoying boy she had met on the Hogwarts Express her first year. Lily still felt more comfortable in hypotheticals, but she would still be able to explain well enough. She talked about how the boy had been so rude to her friend and how she knew that they would be enemies for all their time at Hogwarts.

"I mean, I know he was only a first year at the time, but you should still have some semblance of courtesy to strangers," Lily explained. Vector nodded in agreement.

She then explained how she would work hard for her grades and studied and completed essays ahead of time and did extra credit assignments all throughout the year, but some how this boy kept up without doing an ounce of work! "It was honestly incredible how little time he spent on his homework, even when OWLs came around."

Vector listened and waited for Lily to finish her story.

"But then he started acting weird and would ask me out incessantly! Of course it was always just to get at me or to prove something, nothing actually there, but it was so annoying!" She talked about the many ways the annoying boy had asked her out and embarrassed her in front of her housemates, friends, and sometimes boyfriends. "He threatened my first boyfriend in fifth year that he would turn his manhood into a purple boil if he hurt me at all. Of course then he breaks up with me to avoid that and so then he hexes him! I mean really?! And he only got like 2 detentions with Hagrid. Not really fitting to the crime, was it?"

Vector chuckled, still listening intently. Lily looked at her. She took a deep breath and continued on to the climax of the story.

"Well then something weird happened. In the middle of sixth year, like right after break, I was doing prefect duties on my own because Remus was feeling a bit sick after visiting his mother. I was tired and not completely on my A-game. I was making my rounds around the dungeons when a group of Slytherines came around the corner. They were obviously drunk and were causing quite a ruckus."

Lily stopped to calm herself. She hadn't talked about this night in a long time. "I started to pull out my wand, not knowing what I was up against, but one of them quick shouted, '_Expeliarmus_'. I was defenseless muggleborn in the middle of a dark corridor with a group of drunken muggle-haters.

"I waited for them to make the first move, not wanting to instigate anything. They laughed in their group for a bit at my body position. Then one of them recognized who I was. 'Hey, aren't you that snobby mudblood whose always draggin' along our Snape?' I wasn't sure if I should answer, so I just stood there. 'Hey! I asked you a question! Are your or are you not the mudblood?'

"I was stuck in place. My brain couldn't formulate a plan. I was frozen. Suddenly there was a light from the group and I was shot back against the wall. I had been stunned by one of the group. My head was hazy and I'm not sure I remember everything clearly, but the next thing I saw was the boy materializing out of thin air and defending me. He knocked out a few and bound them, leaving them for Filch-bait.

"He then came over and picked me up. I protested, saying I didn't want to go to the Hospital Wing. He ignored my protests and carried me to the kitchens. Inside, the house elves surrounded us asking if we needed anything. The boy, who obviously was a regular here, just said, 'We might have a concussion here" and the elves went off to collect the ingredients. They came back with a drink that was meant to clear my head.

"He helped me drink it and stayed with me until I was in the right mind to walk back to Gryffindor Tower. I wasn't even going to mention the fact he was out way past curfew because he had been so nice. I wanted to give my gratitude so I said, 'Thank you. That was incredibly brave of you. I'm not sure I would have gotten out of that scrape without your help.' I meant every word and said everything sincerely.

"The boy looked at me strangely, but quickly switched his face back to his cocky smirk. 'Well you know that's what I do. Save damsels in distress. Part of my charm. It's hard to resist.' He brushed his hair back and began, "So Evans, how about you and me-'

"'No! Please don't do this right now. I'm actually tolerating your right now don't ruin it by asking me out again.' I stepped away, not looking at him.

"There was a pause. 'No problem, Evans. Let's get you back to your dorm,' and for the rest of the walk he was courteous and kind to me."

Lily stopped for a moment. She had been telling Professor Vector a lot, but they were already this far, so there was no point in stopping now.

"Well, the months after, he was still his flirty and cocky self, but he never asked the question that I had delayed that night. Then summer came and I didn't see him for months. And then on September 1st, I don't even get a greeting from him. He was stone cold towards me. How does that happen?" Lily sighed. She was getting to the end.

"Well in these past few months, I've had to talk to him. He wouldn't even initiate a conversation and I miss it. Not necessarily the incessant professions of undying love, but the companionship. He had become a friend in those last few months of sixth year and then he just closed himself off. So I had to get him back and now we're on pretty good ground. Well... kind of."

Vector rose her eyebrows, obviously knowing of the complication.

"Well, you see, I didn't mean for it to happen, it just did. I have kinda begun to fancy him because we've been spending a lot of time together. But it's weird because for so long he 'fancied me' and now he is purely a friend. I just... I don't know what's going on anymore."

Lily sat, head tilted down. She waited for Vector to say something. The silence dragged on, making Lily wonder whether or not sharing her life story was the best idea.

Vector leaned forward in her chair. She flicked her wand and the drawer in her desk opened and a piece of paper flew out. She opened it and handed it to Lily. "Take a look at my schedule, Lily."

Lily took the paper glanced over the page.

"Pick one of the lunch times or planning times that we can meet during each week. We're being cut short today on account of you missing class, but I think we'll need to talk in the future."

Lily looked slightly confused.

"You sound like you just need someone to talk to sometimes," she said, closing her drawer with a flick of the wand.

Lily looked over the schedule. Vector was right. Lily felt much better having said everything out loud. Of course Mary and Marlene were her best friends, but they had a tendency to not listen if Lily was speaking irrationally, which is when she needed them the most. It felt good to have someone know everything, well almost. She hadn't said it was James, but Lily had a feeling Professor Vector had put the obvious together.

"How does Thursday 3 sound?" Lily asked. It was right before lunch and she was alone while the others were at Muggle Studies.

"Perfect," Vector responded. "I'll see you on Thursday. Now you better get back to your dorm before another teacher sees you. They might not be as forgiving for skipping."

Lily nodded and collected her things. She headed out of the classroom and walked briskly to the Head's Dorm. Sure, James was going to be in there at some point, but at least he wasn't all of Gryffindor.

When she reached the portrait of the dragon and the frame had melted away, she saw a tray set up in the common room. The tray held a bowl of soup, half a sandwich, pumpkin juice, and a piece of treacle tart.

On top of the meal was a note. Lily picked it up and began to read:

_Dear Lily,_

_Your friends and I decided that we should leave you a little something to eat since you are obviously not well enough to join us today. We miss you and feel better. _

_With all the love we could muster (which is a lot),_

_Mary, Marlene, Remus, Peter, Sirius, and James_

Lily laughed aloud. Her friends were wonderful. She took the tray up to her dorm to eat. She was going to finish up some assignments on her day off.

As she pulled out her Charms book, she couldn't help but think of the note. She could recognize that script anywhere. The Potter slant was graceful and flowed naturally. And at the end, with all the love he could muster, he signed his name. It was totally ridiculous. They were friends, of course he would sign there. But the little girl in Lily couldn't help squirming in excitement. Lily now had physical proof that James didn't hate her and that was good enough for today.

* * *

**AN: Soooo... What do you think? Do you like have Vector in there? Well you better because she's gonna be important (I know that much at this point)! Well hopefully I can keep up the creative juices. I just got back from Disneyworld and Universal in Florida so the magic is flowin'! :) Review for Internet love ! 3 :)**


	5. Prefects are not Perfects

**AN: Hey everyone! Sorry for the delay. It's been taking longer than expected to write these. I am trying so I hope you enjoy. Love you! All Hail Rowling! :)**

* * *

"Ok, more news on rounds. The new rotation has been made and is making its way around the room. Keep track of your dates, please! If you miss your shift, it reflects badly on all of us."

James was taking the lead in the prefect's meeting. He was a fantastic speaker and really got the underclassmen to take everything seriously, even the Slytherines.

Matthew Huckabee, a seventh year Hufflepuff, raised his hand quickly.

"Yeah, Matt?" James asked without missing a beat.

"I haven't seen schedule yet, but have you addressed the Quidditch issue?" he asked politely.

James nodded. "I was just getting to that. You'll see that Quidditch practices and games are marked on the dates. Players and their round partner will not have duties on practice nights. Prefects from competing houses will not have duties on game days either. Lily and I decided this would be the fairest so that house members won't miss out on the festivities if they would like to go."

Lily nodded in assent. She was very proud of James. Originally, she had feared having James as her co-Head, assuming that she would end up completing all the duties herself. On the contrary, James was doing his duties and reminding Lily of her own. It was refreshing to see him in such a responsible position.

"I think that about covers everything for tonight. Umm, anything to add, Lily?"

Lily flashed back to the present. "Oh umm, just, thank you everyone for taking your duties so seriously. Underclassmen, you have really gotten that hang of this. Upperclassmen, thank you for staying professional. Umm, its about 9:30 now, so please make your way to common rooms. Thank you and good night."

And with that, the various prefects from the different houses rose from the couches and chairs and filed out of the Head's common room.

There were only a couple of stragglers left in the room. Andrew Spinnet, a sixth year Gryffindor, was asking about the next Quidditch practices. He was relatively short, but not so much that it was unnatural. He was dark skinned and had an exotic look to him. Many a sixth year girl pined over this boy. Andrew had been on the team for five years. He was an excellent chaser: light, quick, agile, and shot with deadly precision. She only knew this because Marlene envied him so much.

"It's like he doesn't even try. He was born to play right chaser! And he can't miss. Thank goodness people graduated or I would have never made the team. His children will be Quidditch stars, that's for sure. He'll have a whole sleu of them and the whole lot with be brilliant."

She would go on and on about it. Lily used to think it was because she liked him, but she had been set right the one time she had suggested it.

"The only time I would consider Andrew, would be if I was breeding Quidditch players."

While the words weren't convincing, her tone on the matter changed Lily's opinion. Marlene and Andrew would never be a thing so long as Marlene could help it.

Lily surveyed the room once more. Most of the people had left. Lily turned and saw Remus Lupin sitting on the couch. He had the schedule in his hand and he was studying the dates carefully.

Lily sat down beside him, breaking Lupin's concentration. He looked over and smiled at her. Remus' face was beautiful, Lily decided. He cheek bones sat prominent on his face and were accentuated by his wide grin. His teeth were white and perfectly aligned. This was probably due to the fact his father was a dentist. His eyes, already surrounded by a number of crow's feet, were a deep brown, similar to the Honeydukes chocolate he was so fond of. Although he had a clear complexion, his skin had gathered a number of wrinkles and scars. Of course they were only nicks and cuts, but it added to his much older look. His thin build helped to define his jaw bone that clenched in concentration.

"Hey, Lily. How's it going?" Remus greeted, smiling.

"Not too bad. Yourself?" Lily asked.

Remus shrugged, "Not too bad."

Lily laughed. "Did you figure out your schedule?"

Remus looked back at the paper. "Yeah I did. I was just making sure none of the dates conflicted with m-"

"With your visits to your mum," Lily finished. "Don't worry. James made sure you wouldn't be scheduled on those days. He also made sure he wasn't scheduled as well, just in case he needed to go with you or some nonsense. Either way, you're good."

Remus exhaled with a smile. "Thank you. It would have been a nightmare to reschedule, what with the Quidditch schedules being packed so much this year."

Lily nodded. James had made sure all of Remus' visits would be scheduled around. It was another thing that James had shown responsibility. Lily knew it wasn't easy to rearrange a schedule once it was released and Lupin always had to in previous years. James was looking out for him like the fantastic friend he was.

"So did you started the pre-project paper?" Remus asked, placing the schedule on the coffee table.

Lily shook her head. A week ago they assigned the pre-project essay. It would be a grade in both Charms and Transfiguration. McGonagall and Flitwick decided to introduce the topic by having them complete an essay. There were two essays: a Charms essay and a Transfiguration essay. One partner did Charms, the other Transfiguration. James had obviously taken Transfiguration and Lily picked up Charms. She hadn't even looked at the prompt yet. "It's just been pretty busy, what with the new rotations and James with his Quidditch."

"No worries. I wasn't there the day they assigned the essay and you wouldn't expect Sirius to start without me, would you?" Remus laughed at the idea.

Lily couldn't help, but laugh as well. Sirius Black doing any school work early and of his own will was unheard of.

"What are you two laughing about?" James asked as he walked over to the couch. Lily saw his contemplate the seat next to her, but he opted, to her dismay, to sit on the table.

"Oh you know, Prongs, just Sirius," Lupin said, still laughing to himself.

"What about Sirius?" James smiled, not wanting to miss a chance to poke good-natured fun at his best mate.

"Remus here contemplated the idea that Sirius would have started the Transfiguration-Charms essay without him," Lily said in a similar state as Remus.

James' jaw dropped. His face slowly shifted into a large grin until he let out a bark of laughter. He bent over clutching his stomach, whilst snickering. Lily and Remus soon joined in again.

They weren't even laughing so much at Sirius anymore, but just laughing to laugh. Lily felt the most care-free she had in weeks. It felt so good to just release some emotion. Lily fell back on the couch, giggling and gasping for breath. She held her hands to her chest, trying to compose herself.

Remus was the first to recover. He stood, shakily, still stifling the snickers. "Well I shall bid you two, 'adieu'. I need to get back to the common room before the two Heads on rounds tonight put me in detention."

Lily and James both laughed and bid him good night. Remus walked through the door, still slightly shaking with laughter. The two in the room watch the portrait swing back into place.

Lily looked over at James. His beautiful smile was still stretched across his face. He shook his head and look at Lily saying, "Oh that Moony. You gotta love him."

Lily couldn't help, but agree. Remus Lupin was a great guy. He was incredibly nice, humble, caring, intelligent, well-mannered, mature and even-tempered. His friends claimed that he could only be this way during the day if he was an animal at night. These comments always made Remus feel awkward, but they would all laugh together.

James switched to take Lupin's spot on the couch. He leaned back on the armrest and stretched his arms above his head. Then he sighed, bringing his hand to his hair and running his fingers through the dark mess. He shook his head and snickered again, still trying to get the last of the laugh out of him.

He turned to look at Lily. Their eyes locked. Whatever he had been planning on saying or doing was forgotten. Lily couldn't remember anything. All she saw was James sitting on the couch, looking at her with complete concentration.

He sat up from the armrest, still keeping eye contact with her. Lily's breath became shallower and quickened. James leaned slightly closer, but not so close to be intimate, just close. Close enough that Lily could feel the heat come off his body. Well, maybe that was her. She wasn't quite sure.

James' lips parted just slightly, taking in a quick breath. He then started, "Uh Lily. I nee-"

Suddenly, there was a pounding on the door. "Lily! Lily! Lily, I need you! I don't remember the password and the dragon won't let me in without it!"

Lily and James sprang apart. Lily was surprised at just how close they had gotten. She had practically been leaning over into his lap. How could she let herself do that? Was she trying to weird him out?

"Lily! The dragon is very hostile! Come get the- Oh yeah! The dragon! _Caput Draconis_."

With that, Marlene Bell stormed through the door.

When she got through the doorway, she saw James and Lily, still awkwardly sitting on the couch. She stopped for a second, slightly embarrassed for storming in, but she was on a mission.

"Lily, can I talk to you? Please?" she asked, obviously in a pretty bad mood.

Lily got up quickly. "Yes, Marlene. Head up to my room." She turned to James who was still frozen on the couch. His smile was gone and replaced with a slightly confused expression. "I'll be back for rounds tonight. Meet you in here?"

James broke out of his frozen state. "Yeah. Meet you down here at 10:15." And with that, he retreated to his dorm.

Lily turned to follow Marlene up the stairs. She opened the door to her room and saw Marlene already dissolved in silent tears. Her shoulders were shaking and she began to sniff. Lily made he way over and sat down, wrapping her arms around her friend.

Marlene leaned into her chest and Lily stroked her hair, trying to calm her. She cried for some time. When she finally had composed herself enough, Lily released her and turned to face her.

Marlene looked up, slightly ashamed, but not enough to wipe away the tears. Lily looked at Marlene's broken expression and asked, "Honey, what's wrong?"

Marlene sniffed. "It's really stupid of me. I mean *sniff* I shouldn't be getting emotional about this. He doesn't owe me anything or whatever *sniff*."

She still had yet to get to the point, but Lily had a feeling she knew where this was going. Marlene hated crying so it wasn't very often you saw her in a fit of hysterics. Only one boy could get her this distraught. They had off-and-on dated since fourth-year and had caused her more pain than a dragon pox victim.

"What did McLaggen do this time?" Lily asked, stroking Marlene's smooth hair.

Marlene shook her head sadly, "No it wasn't Nick this time. He's still pouting about the last Quidditch scrimmage."

Huh? Lily thought. This was new. Who could make Marlene feel this upset besides Nick? "What's going on, Mar?"

Marlene gave a shuddering sigh before looking at Lily. She sniffed and began with, "It's Adam."

Lily's train of thought hit the wall. Adam?! Adam McKinnon was responsible for Marlene's heartache?! Adam McKinnon who was one of the nicest guys on the planet, who not to mention adored Marlene! Adam who had cursed Nick in 6th year for forgetting to Marlene's birthday! "What?!" she asked, completely confused.

"I know! It's stupid of me to get this upset about him dating, but I just... I don't know, I just feel betrayed or something and it's completely absurd because he doesn't owe me anything and he's finally *hic* doing something that makes him happy and I should be happy for him, not thinking up ways to jinx his *hic* girlfriend!" Marlene continued to mutter incomprehensibly.

"Honey, honey, calm down," Lily said, stroking her hair. "Who's Adam dating?"

Marlene hiccuped and said, "Beth Bailey, from Hufflepuff. You know, the sixth year?"

Lily did know. Beth was a prefect, honors student, and an all-together nice person, much like Adam. She was short and petite with long black hair that had strands wrapped up in colorful string. She was playful and careless. Beth was a first year's best friend. She could tell you where any room was and the fastest way to get there. At the beginning of the year, she would always be accompanied by first years trying to find their way around the castle.

But she loved it. She loved helping the little first years and watching them find their way. She reminded Lily much of the preschool or nursery teachers from her youth. She could talk to the young without making them feel inferior.

And it wasn't as though Marlene disliked Beth, Lily knew. It was just that Beth happened to be the cause of Mar's pain. Lily had noticed how much Marlene had started to like Adam, even if Mar herself didn't. Knowing that Adam was "off limits" might have triggered something in Marlene.

Lily pulled Marlene into a hug. "It's okay, Mar. There's no shame in crying over a boy."

Marlene pulled away fast and stared at Lily. "What?! You're the one always telling us that no boy is worth your tears and that nonsense," she said, studying Lily's reaction.

Lily looked down. "Some recent events may have changed my view on the matter," she answered, avoiding eye contact with her friend. She told her friends most everything, but she hadn't even touched on her dream or the true depth of her feelings for James.

Marlene started to say something when Lily looked at the clock. "Oh Bollocks! It's 10:17! I have to go Mar, but if you want to stay, you can stay. We can share my bed or I'll just sleep in the common room."

Marlene nodded. Lily snagged a quick hug before rising from her bed. She grabbed her wand from the bedside table and tucked it away in her jacket. She bid Marlene farewell and went through the door. She nearly slid down the stairs on her bum after missing the first step. Lily recollected herself and made it to the common room.

James was leaned up against the door. He was studying at a piece of parchment, his eyes scanning each section at a time. When Lily walked nearer, he looked up and quickly tapped the page with his wand. He folded the page and tucked it into his inside jacket pocket. He grinned at Lily and asked, "Ready to go?"

Lily was curious about the parchment, but she let it go. She smiled and answered, "Yeah, I'm ready. I'm so sorry for being late. Marlene was in a bit of a state."

James shrugged, "It's alright. Marlene's problems are a little more important than rounds."

Lily agreed. There was not a lot of point for them to go on rounds tonight. Halloween was fast approaching and the teachers were out and about to deter children from causing trouble. But this meant all the more than Lily and James had to do their rounds. They would be sure to run into a number of teachers on their trek and if they were missing, well the McGonagall would be hearing of it.

"However," James continued, pushing the door forward. "When we're dating, you can't be late. Ever." He grinned cheekily at Lily, letting her know that he was joking.

"Ha! Trust me, I wouldn't be late for that," Lily answered, smiling back. But Lily could tell by her tone, it hadn't come off as joking as she had hoped.

James chuckled with her, but Lily could tell the cogs were turning in his head. Lily cleared her throat, "Well, where do you want to start?"

James contemplated for a second. "Let's start at the top and make our way down. That way we can stop by the kitchens on our way back up."

Lily could see the genius in his plan. "Sounds good to me."

James presented his arm. "Miss Evans?"

Lily laughed and linked her arm with his. "Why thank you, Mr. Potter."

"Now why is it," James began, "that an unmarried woman is a 'miss' while an unmarried man is still a 'mister'? Why is there a distinction with women, but not with men?"

And with that, they headed to the stair cases, careful to hop the trick step together, and began their rounds.

* * *

"Ok, ok! What was your most interesting Christmas present ever?" Lily asked, laughing. They were sitting in the kitchens. Generous as they were, the elves left them a platter of snack food. They had been asking questions back and forth for hours.

"Oh that is easy," James said. "The Christmas of fourth year, Sirius had sent his present to my house to be opened on Christmas. So I'm opening presents with my parents and I get to his. I should have had the hindsight to wait and open it on my own. Regardless, I unwrapped this large book." James stopped and laughed.

"What?" Lily asked. "What was the book, James!" Her curiosity knew no bounds.

James composed himself and started again. "Well the cover was blank and there was no title on the spine or anything so I opened it. I barely had the pages cracked open when it let out moans and heavy breathing. I quick slammed it shut, but not before my mother turned to me. She had a concerned expression, but she obviously hadn't really realized what she had heard. I tucked the book away so that she wouldn't see it."

Lily was confused, "I don't get it. A moaning book?"

James laughed, "The title of the book was 'Man's Guide to Pleasing his Woman: The Art of Lovemaking'. Get it now?"

Lily's face turned hot. "He what? He sent you a sex book?"

James nodded, "It had pictures, diagrams, and sound effects as you recall."

Lily's jaw dropped. "So he sent you porn! On Christmas?" Lily was in complete disbelief.

"Yes he did, but no worries. I got him back the next year." James boasted, picking up his glass of pumpkin juice.

"How?" Again, Lily's curiosity betrayed her.

"I sent him his own copy. Only it was 'Man's Guide to Pleasing his Man: The Art of Homoerotic Lovemaking'. I received a pretty nasty hexing after that one," James chuckled, recalling the memory.

Lily was astounded. "Oh gosh. How do your parents handle you two at home?"

James smiled, "I ask myself that question every time I leave." Lily smiled back at him. They were silent for a moment. "Ok, my turn to ask," James said suddenly. "What's your favorite song?"

Lily thought for a moment. "Wizard or Muggle music?"

"Either."

"Jessica by The Allman Brothers," she answered quickly.

"Well that was quick. I've never even heard it," James said.

"It came out at the beginning of third year," Lily explained. "I couldn't stop playing it!"

"Sing it for me?" James asked, giving her pleading eyes.

"I can't," Lily said. James scoffed at her. Lily laughed, "No seriously, I can't. It's instrumental."

"What's the point of having a song without words?" James asked, clearly annoyed by this.

"You don't need words to make a good song!" Lily argued. "Some of the best music is when there are no words at all. Just the mixing instruments and the solos. It's perfect!"

James shook his head. "Whatever you say."

"I'm going to prove it to you," Lily said, poking James in the chest. "I'll play it for you someti-." Lily couldn't help, but yawn mid-word.

"Alright, Lily. It's time we head on back. Willy?" James called, looking around the kitchen.

A house elf dressed in a boy's button-up shirt appeared in front of James. He had big, watery eyes. His bat-like ears perked up when he saw James. "Oh Master James! I do hope you enjoyed your snacks," he said with a squeak.

"I did, Willy. I just wanted to say thank you." James handed the platter to the elf.

Willy took it from James, smiling. "I'm just happy you and Miss Evans enjoyed your time here."

"We did. Thank you, Willy," Lily said, smiling at the tiny house elf. She had always been fond of house elves. They worked tirelessly and for absolutely no reward except for the occasional thanks from students such as James.

"You are very welcome, Miss Evans," Willy said. He then disappeared with the platter.

"Alright, we better go, Lily," James said, gesturing for Lily to join him.

Lily rose from the table and walked next to him. As they exited the kitchens, their hands found each other. Regardless of who initiated it, neither questioned the action. He gripped her hand with a gentleness, but she still felt secure.

They kept walking down the hallway in comfortable silence. Inside, Lily was in a bit of a panic, but his hand was warm and comforting. Careful not to draw attention, Lily snuck quick glances at James. He had a content expression with a slight grin. As they climbed the stairs, James stepped just ahead, as if leading her up.

When they reached the fourth floor, Lily was hit with deja vu. This was the hallway in her dreams. She was holding his hand, feeling the heat between them. Lily began to panic. Her breathing accelerated slightly.

Feeling the tension, James began to rub his thumb across her hand. The gesture was small, but Lily felt calmer. Just knowing that he wasn't about to blow up in her face was comforting and gave her piece of mind.

They reached the painting of the dragon that served as the entrance. James gave the password and the arch appeared. As Lily walked in the door, she could feel her eyes drooping. It had been a long week and she needed her sleep.

Lily started to walk to her dorm when she realized she was still holding James' hand. They stopped by the couch, still holding on. James looked at Lily. His expression was torn. He obviously was trying to make a quick decision. Finally, he smiled sadly and swung their arms, "Goodnight, Lily." He then let go of her hand.

Lily's hand felt cold without his. "Goodnight, James," she said, backing towards her dorm. She turned to climb the stairs.

At the top, she opened the door. She looked inside. Marlene was strewn across the red bed spread. Lily wouldn't be able to get in without waking her. Lily shrugged and walked in to change into her night clothes. She placed her wand on the night stand and changed into her sweatshirt and shorts. Lily grabbed the throw blanket off the chair in the corner and snagged a pillow from her bed before head for the door.

At the top of the stairs, Lily slipped on the step again and slid down three stairs before catching herself. I'm lucky I'm still alive after today, she thought, groggily. She reached the bottom of the stairs in one piece and walked into the common room.

James was sitting on the couch, holding his head in his hands. When he heard Lily enter the room, his head shot up. "Lily! What are you doing down here again?"

"Um, well, Marlene kinda took over my bed so I decided to come down here and sleep so I won't wake her."

"And she didn't wake up when you nearly fell down the stairs?" James poked.

"Ha. No she didn't," Lily said, sitting down on the couch next to James.

"Well you don't have to sleep down here," James said. "You can use my bed."

Lily eyed him strangely, trying to keep her eyes open. Was he saying what she thought he was saying?

"I would sleep down here, obviously," James recovered quickly.

Lily shook her head weakly. "No Jahhh-mes," she yawned. "It's your bed, I don-." Lily couldn't even finish her words. Her eyes closed and weren't opening. Lily wasn't trying though. She was exhausted.

"Lily," James said quietly.

Lily barely responded with a groan.

"Alright then," James said. He stood and turned to pick Lily up bride-style. The blanket and pillow lay forgotten on the couch as he walked towards his dorm. Lily felt him scale the stair case with ease. He pushed open the door to reveal his room. Lily opened her eyes to observe.

His room was clean for the most part. There was a small pile of robes across his chair, but otherwise it was tidy. The walls were a deep red, opposite of her gold walls. James placed her on his bed. The sheets were the same except his were gold, opposing her red. He pulled the covers over her and adjusted the pillows.

He was leaned over, reaching for his alarm clock on the night stand. He adjusted the buttons and drew his hand back, but Lily could still feel his face near hers. He hovered for a few seconds before sighing. Lily felt his presence leave her.

As her head was clearing, she thought she heard James whisper, "Goodnight... Love". She didn't have time to figure that out however, because as soon as the door closed, Lily fell into a deep, dreamless sleep.

* * *

**AN: So? Did you like it? This one was a little longer so I hope it makes up for the delay on publication. Thank you to the people who have favorited and/or followed this story. Also, thank you to those of you who have written reviews! You are the people who get my creative juices flowing! I love you all! :) Shoot me a review! :) Bye! :)**


	6. It's Morning, not Mourning!

**AN: I wish there was a way to show how sorry I am about this taking so long. Things just started piling up and graduation happened and grad party happened and no computer happened (yeah I know! That happened!)! Anyway, I'm sorry. Hopefully, I'll have the next chapter done sooner than later. Ok, go! All Hail Rowling!**

* * *

Chapter 5

Lily woke up feeling relaxed and rested. She hadnʼt slept that well in weeks. Refusing to open her eyes, Lily turned over in the covers. Her face pressed into the pillow. She took a deep breath, attempting to clear her head. The smell was familiar: outdoorsy with a hint of citrus. However, this wasnʼt usually the smell she woke up to. She woke up to rose water and jasmine.

Lily opened her eyes to an unfamiliar room. The walls were burgundy, trimmed with gold. The sheets she laid in were deep gold. Lily sat up, trying to ﬁnd her bearings. The format of the room was familiar, just backwards. It mirrored her own dorm room.

Her eyes fell on the pile of robes on the chair. Suddenly, Lily remembered everything from the previous night in a rush. She remembered sitting on the couch with him after the meeting. She remembered their time in the kitchens, chatting about everything and nothing. She remembered them holding hands all the way to the common room and his sad expression when he let her go. She remembered him carrying her to his room and tucking her into his bed. She remembered him bidding her "Goodnight... Love." Ok, she wasnʼt entirely sure if she actually remembered that so much as created that out of wishful thinking.

She remembered everything, but it was so unreal. She was so tired at the time, she hadnʼt realized how odd it was. According to James, they were friends, just friends. And that was only because Lily had initiated contact again. He had made it very clear that was what he wanted and thatʼs how it was.

But how could she explain last night. They were ﬂirty and careless and had no inhibitions. She had allowed herself to be carried up to his room! What was going on with her?! She was acting like a tart! She woke up in his bed! Lily groaned, ﬂopping back onto the sheets. She knew she was overreacting. Girls did this all the time, using their guyfriendʼs stuff. James could hold her hand in a totally platonic way. And ʻloveʼ is a universal term of endearment, not just for couples.

Lily tried to believe it. She tried to convince herself that last night was not an odd occurrence, that it was just foreign to her. Iʼll talk to Mary, she thought. Mary could confirm this for her.

Lily turned over in Jamesʼ bed. She slipped her legs through the sheets and placed her feet on the ﬂoor, sitting up from the pillow. She rose, stretching her shoulders and back. She hadnʼt moved at all in her sleep and she was stiff. Lily kicked her feet, trying to get the blood ﬂowing better.

The window in the corner was white with morning light. Lily looked at the clock. 9:14. It was still early for a Saturday, but Lily wasnʼt going to be able to fall asleep and certainly not in Jamesʼ room.

Lily walked to the door and descended down the stairs. The common room was empty in contrast to the crowded prefects meeting the night before. It had been a simple meeting, nothing to suggest the night of rounds that would follow.

She crossed the room to her own staircase. Lily climbed the stairs, expecting to see a sleeping Marlene strewn across her bed. When she opened the door, Marlene was gone. Instead, there was a note on her bedside table.

_Lily,_

_Thank you for letting me talk it out with you last night. Iʼm not sure how I feel at the moment, but hopefully Quidditch practice will make me focus on something. Thanks for your bed also. I didnʼt mean to steal it, I just fell completely asleep. Thanks and Iʼll see you after practice. It ends at 10:30._

_Marlene_

Lily smiled and put the letter down. That would explain where both her and James were. Why in the world would James allow himself to have rounds the night before Quidditch practice? She shook her head and slumped onto her covers.

Suddenly she was feeling incredibly tired. It was more lazy than tired, but she took what she could get. She closed her eyes on tried to clear her mind. She took deep, soothing breaths. She didnʼt dare move a muscle. Peace. Peace.

But it was short lived, as images of James from the night before ﬂashed behind her eyelids. His longing face when he let go of her hand. She again felt cold without his comforting touch. She wanted to be near him and be able to feel his presence. Lily tossed in bed, trying to rid herself of the memories, but it was useless. She sat up quickly, slapping her hands down on the bed beside her. Now she was just irritated.

She swung her legs off the bed and padded towards the bathroom to wash up. James should not be able to do this to her! It didnʼt make sense. I mean, she had plenty of other things to worry and think about. Why now, suddenly, did James take up her every waking thought? Lily knew why, but that didnʼt make it any easier to take.

"Heʼs dumb!" Lily mumbled unconvincingly aloud after cleaning and rinsing her face.

She french-braided her hair quick and freshened up. She would probably return to her dorm and take a real shower after breakfast so she wasnʼt entirely worried about anything. She changed into some yoga pants and a sweatshirt and headed down to the Great Hall.

When she arrived in the Hall, pockets of people were scattered around the tables. Since it was the weekend, breakfast, lunch, and dinner all ran a little longer because of all the activities. Lily hoped that one of her friends was down eating. She scanned the Gryfﬁndor table and found Mary sitting alone with a thick magazine in her hand. Lily smiled and made her way towards her friend.

When Lily approached, Mary looked up from the magazine and smiled. She waved Lily over, slightly bouncing in her seat. Upon arrival, Lily saw the magazine more closely. It was Witch Weeklyʼs Halloween Edition. The front cover was an incredibly attractive wizard suddenly changing into a grotesque werewolf and howling at the moon. Inside, Mary was ﬂipping pages. "There was this awesome quiz I was taking, I just canʼt ﬁnd it..." Mary said, tearing through the magazine.

"What was it about?" Lily asked ﬁlling her cup with pumpkin juice.

"Itʼs supposed to predict your soul mateʼs patronous. Weʼre supposed to learn how to cast a patronous this year, so I would like to keep an eye out for my soul mateʼs." Mary was almost giddy with excitement. "His patronous is supposed to be a golden retriever."

She ﬂattened the magazine out. A giant Dementor ﬁlled the background of the spread. Mary took out her wand and pressed the tip to the wispy dog. Suddenly, the patronous sprung out of itʼs box and chased the Dementor away into the center fold. Mary clapped for the little dog as he returned to his box.

Lily looked at the quiz. The Witch Weekly quiz was always the highlight of the month. However this time, Lily was more than a little curious. Mary was right about learning the patronous. She would know everyone in her classʼ patronous by the end of it. It just so happened that James was in her class. And while Lily was far from calling him her soul mate, it would be nice to know if she was on the right track.

"Ok, quiz me!" Lily said, turning towards her friend.

Mary picked up the magazine. "Alright, number one. ʻIn your relationship, who would you be considered?ʼ A: ʻthe one wearing the pantsʼ? B: ʻthe one going along with everythingʼ? Or C: ʻWeʼd have an equal say in our relationshipʼ?"

Lily thought for a second. "C. Deﬁnitely C."

"How do you ﬁgure?" Mary asked, raising her eyebrow.

"Are you joking? I would let my soul mate make some decisions," Lily defended, with mock scandal across her face.

"Right. Ok, C it is." Mary pressed her wand to the answer. "Number two: ʻOf his few ﬂaws, which would be the easiest to forgive?ʼ A: ʻhis irresponsibilityʼ? B: ʻhis prideʼ? C: ʻhis lack of motivationʼ?"

"Probably B," Lily said.

"You would know, wouldnʼcha?" Mary said, pressing her wand to the page.

"Whatʼs that supposed to mean?" Lily asked.

"Oh come on, Lily. You are Lily the proud!" Mary said, looking Lily in the eyes.

Ok, she had a point. "Iʼm not proud necessarily. I just have self-respect."

Mary shook her head, laughing. "Itʼs not a bad thing. Like you said, itʼs the easiest to forgive. Sometimes itʼs not all that bad of a look on a guy. Itʼs arrogance you have to watch out for. Like wasnʼt there someone who was described as an arrogant toe-rag once?"

"That would be me, thank you." James was freshly showered. He stretched his arms above his head. His t-shirt pulled up, revealing midriff. His warm-up pants rode low on his hips. Lily diverted her eyes so he wouldnʼt see her staring. Merlin, he was ﬁt!

"Thatʼs right. How could you forget, Lily?" Mary asked, prodding at Lilyʼs sudden discomfort.

Lily turned her head to Mary. "I didnʼt forget. I just chose to ignore it, Mary."

James started to sit down next to Lily. Marlene and Sirius had come around the table and were sitting in front of them. Remus had walked in right behind them and had taken the seat next to Sirius. Peter was missing from the group, but Lily ﬁgured it was because he was still sleeping.

Lily placed her hand on the magazine and pushed it toward Maryʼs lap. She was trying to get it under the table so that it wouldnʼt lead to more discussion. Mary complied, but Lily didnʼt trust the sly smile that was ﬁxed across her face.

Lily looked her in the face and whispered, "Weʼll ﬁnish this later."

"You bet we will," she replied, patting her hand on the cover.

Still worried the quiz, Lily picked up her pumpkin juice. She took a quick swig from the glass. Lily always thought that it tasted of fall. It was as if you mixed Hogwarts with Halloween and the Harvest festivals to make a drink of happiness. She really enjoyed it, but she was a little too distracted today to really taste the happiness in her cup.

James was eating slowly, listening to Sirius give a play-by-play of the bludger he hit that almost took Adamʼs head off. Glancing at Marlene, Lily could tell she was the tiniest bit sad that it hadnʼt at least grazed him. James continued to eat his food in small bites, occasionally taking a sip from his cup.

It was making Lily anxious. He was so calm and normal and collected this morning and Lily was anything but. She kept taking quick glances at his face. He was not completely enthralled with this story, mostly because he was there when it happened. He just looked at Sirius, politely nodding when appropriate, but altogether pretty zoned out. His eyes were slightly out of focus and his chewing became rhythmic.

Lily picked up her fork and started picking at her eggs. She was anxious and it didn't help that James was sitting next to her. What she needed was some critical thinking time. She just needed to get some school work done. Her mind was always at ease writing papers and finishing Arithmancy problems. She needed a table in the library, badly.

Lily took a couple more bites of eggs before setting her fork down. Sirius was just finishing his story when Lily rose to leave.

"Are you leaving," James asked calmly, placing his hand on hers. Heat shot through her nerves and prickled her skin.

Lily smiled calmly and said, "Yeah. I was just going to try and get some homework done early."

"In the common room or...?"

"Probably the library," Lily answered. She wasn't about to get anything done in the common room. The memories of last night were far too fresh.

"Why in the world would you opt to go to the library when you have a personal study room?" Sirius asked, clearly miffed that Lily had ignored his story.

Lily thought fast. "I need to do some research for the project essay. Might as well stay close."

"Ah man, I almost forgot about that!" James said, pressing a fist to his forehead. "I should get started on that too. I'll meet you in there in a bit."

"I was going to wash up a bit first," Lily said quickly. Having James there wouldn't help her clear her head, but she couldn't exactly say no.

"That's alright. I have to change and get my stuff so we can walk there together."

Lily was stuck. "Yeah, that sounds wonderful. Now excuse me..." and with that Lily turned and walked quickly out of the Great Hall.

'So much for some clear thinking time!" Lily thought as she trudged through the halls. She climbed the stairs two at a time, barely making some of the moving staircases on her route.

When she reached the dragon portrait, she said "Caput Draconis" before the dragon moved. As soon as the door appeared, she burst through and shut it behind her. She climbed the stairs and entered her dorm.

She was livid. Not with James. No, definitely not with James. If she was, he would know about it. She was mad at the situations he always found her in! Last night she had practically ended up in his lap. She had held his hand walking down the hallway to their dorm. She fell asleep sitting on the couch with him. She was carried up to his room! Lily felt vulnerable. She hated it! James always left her exposed and unguarded. Just a minute ago, a simple hand touch had left her flustered and incapable of quicking thinking.

Lily pulled the hair thing out of her braid and let the hair fall loose. She walked into the bathroom. She turned the shower on and faced the mirror.

If this kept up, she would have a permanently creased brow. She ran her fingers back through her hair. A hot shower. That would help her calm down.

She quickly got undressed and slipped into the shower. The steam from the water rose in curls. Lily breathed in the humid air slowly. She let the water hit her face with full force, clearing it of all grime from the night before.

She turned around and let the water hit her back. The pressure soothed her tense back muscles and they began to relax. She wanted to stand there and let the water run down her for hours. Too soon, the water began to lose heat. Lily finished washing and turned the water off. She stepped out onto the rug. The steam from her body mixed with the steam in the air. The mirror was clouded over. Lily grabbed a towel and started to dry off. She kept her mind clear.

She toweled off her hair and wrapped it around her body. Lily opened the door, letting the steam escape into her dorm room. The cool air covered her skin. Her mind awoke as the air filled her sinuses. She laid the towel aside and began to dress. She pulled on jeans, a plain shirt, and a button up cardigan. She slipped on a pair of comfy shoes.

When she turned to find her school bag, she saw the note on her bed. Lily picked it up to read.

_Lily,_

_I'm ready when you are. Just write a response at the end of the note to let me know._

_James_

Lily fought the jitters that were returning. She would not let his name cause her trouble. She found her school bag and pulled it across her body. She quickly used one of instant-ink quills and wrote, "I'll be in the common room."

She quickly tucked the quill behind her ear and left her dorm. She descended the stairs, careful to not repeat her blunders from the night before. At the bottom of the stairs, she saw James sitting on the couch. He was flicking his wand and muttering which caused colored smoke to escape from the end of his wand.

"Neat trick," Lily said, nearing the edge of the couch.

James looked up and grinned. "It's a little gimmick Sirius and I created. We talked about tricking muggles with a magic show. It would be real magic, but the muggles would think it was a trick."

"Sounds easy enough. What happened?" Lily asked, again curiosity besting her.

"Yeah, well unfortunately, the Ministry doesn't think it's good plan. Something about performing magic in front of muggles being a crime or something."

"When have the rules stopped you before?" Lily asked, shaking her head.

James laughed. "When my father threatened to snap my wand personally if I tried it. He was a bit of a stickler for rules, especially ones that are considered laws." James stood up slowly, stowing his wand in the inside pocket of his jacket. "To the library then?"

Lily decided to ignore the past tense used when James talked about his dad. She had enough to keep off her mind as it was. "Yeah, let's go."

* * *

The essays were ridiculous. As the op student in her class, she was ashamed that she had put it off for so long.

"'Explain the etymology of the Patronous Charm. How is this relevant to the purpose of the spell?' Are they serious? That's it?" Lily asked as she read over the prompt.

"You could probably do it in your sleep," James added clearly amused at Lily's irritation.

"I could definitely do this in my sleep! Why did I wait so long to do this?" Lily sat back in her chair, still eyeing the prompt in her hand. "What's yours?"

"Oh uh, 'Describe the steps taken to create an animagus form. Why requirements are needed to obtain the animal form?'," James recited.

"Well that will need a little research," Lily said.

"Not really," James replied, setting the paper down on the table. "Sirius, Peter, and I looked into a bunch of animagus stuff a couple years ago. I already know everything."

"Well this was a waste of a library trip," Lily sighed, putting her face in her palm.

James looked over at the books. "Well it could be worse," he said, scanning the shelves. "WE could actually have something to do."

Lily looked at James and smiled. He seemed so content, sitting and leaning back in his chair. James turned his head and gave a short laugh, letting his chair fall to the ground. "Well let's get something accomplished then."

He then pulled out a sheet of parchment from his bag and set to work. Lily followed suit, taking out a fresh sheet of parchment and untucking the quill from her ear. She laid the sheet flat and began to write.

_The Patronous Charm's etymology is primarily from the Latin language..._

* * *

"'Since the spell is used for protection, the Latin translation of the incantation reflect the spell's use perfectly. Expecto Patronum literally translates to 'I await a guardian'.' It's just so obvious!"

Lily had finished her essay within twenty minutes. She know was meticulously revising to take up time. James was finishing the last inch of his essay. With a jab to punctuate his final sentence, James pushed his essay forward and stretched back over the chair.

"Ah, it feels good to be done," he said, clenching and unclenching his fingers. He sighed and ran both hands through his hair.

"Do we have anything else right now?" Lily asked, trying to think of the workload.

"I don't think so. Since Halloween is on Monday, the teachers didn't think we'd get much done. And if you ask me, I think they were pretty smart about that."

Lily nodded. It did seem like they hadn't assigned very much during the week. Even Professor Vector had abstained from giving out homework.

Lily quickly looked at the time. "Oh, Merlin's baggy pants!" She was supposed to meet Vector for tea at 12:30. It was already 12:25.

"I have to go, James," Lily said, collecting her parchment.

"Where're you off to?" he asked as he began to pack up as well.

"Vector's. I'm supposed to be having tea with her in five minutes."

James laughed, "Cutting it a little close are we?"

Lily shot him a look that clearly said 'Ya think?'

James laughed again and picked up his bag. He pulled it over his shoulders.

Lily pulled hers over similarly and turned to face James. She felt awkward. She didn't feel like a wave was enough. Should she hug him? Maybe a shoulder bump? Handshake?

James stepped toward her and took her hand. "We'll meet you for lunch later then?"

The pressure on her hand felt nice, even soothing. Lily smiled. "Yes. I'll come to Gryffindor Tower after tea."

"Alright then," James said. He pulled her closer and gave her a quick peck on the cheek. He squeezed her hand, released it, and turned to go. He sauntered out of the library and turned right for the stairs up to Gryffindor Tower.

Lily was frozen in place. Her mind was moving so fast, but she comprehended nothing. She lightly touched the place where James had kissed her. Lily did not expect that. She was right that a wave wasn't enough. Her hand still tingled from the pressure from when he held it.

When she unfroze, she looked at the clock. 12:28.

"Shit."

Lily walked swiftly out of the library and turned left to make her way to the Arithmancy classroom.

* * *

**AN: Well that's that. I hope you like it. Thank you so so so much to all the people who have reviewed. You are beautiful, wonderful, fantastic people and you honestly make my day when I see your comments. If you haven't already (or even if you have) send me a review. I want to hear what you think. Is it unrealistic? Is it moving too fast, too slow? I don't know! I've never done this before obviously! So let me know :)**


End file.
